dasein IV
We were visited by C again! Twice in five days. It would appear she’s rather keen. Some haphazard notes:
This might be the most immature thing in the world, but after she left — I got back from vaccine appointment #2 around 5pm, we all started playing almost immediately, and she left by quarter-to-midnight — I put this on the TV:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o
I can’t help myself sometimes, and ending a multiple-year dry spell by being fucked by your partner/Domme’s toppy friend in front of her? Yep. I’m gonna call that one a win.
Incidentally, the collar never did come off after C visited the first time. Previously it’d stimmed me in a weird and bad way and it was impossible to fall asleep; it’d start feeling like the metal was too heavy on my neck when my head was on the pillow and I’d start to get into a weird anxiety loop. I was so tired that night that I just passed out near as soon as I lay down.
Haven woken up once with it still on (and thus serving as a physical demonstration to my panicky subconscious that no, this won’t somehow block an artery to your head while you sleep and kill you), I’ve not needed to remove it since. I might ask at some point that Miss takes the key from me at last, and really relinquish that.
To review thoughts about whether these experiences will shift anything in me — I think so far the answer has been no. C is not particularly experienced in dominance or the psychological aspects of kink, and so it ends up being just the three of us having fun, with me being distinguished as “the one who can take absolutely inordinate amounts of pain” (and now fucking). I’m not complaining, but it does leave my longing for a more extreme submission still unattended to.
I’m worn out!