hypomania
hypomania: “a mood state characterized by persistent disinhibition and elevation (euphoria). […] According to DSM-5 criteria, hypomania is distinct from mania in that there is no significant functional impairment; mania, by DSM-5 definition, does include significant functional impairment and may have psychotic features.”
this is kinda a thing that keeps occurring to me on and off, as you’re aware. i wanted to try to describe the subjective experience. because it’s a mood state defined by a set of symptoms, i’ll do so according to the list of criteria.
pressured speech: i’m fucking talkative lately. i can’t stop expressing myself. i tweet a lot and i talk a lot, but inside my head when i’m alone it’s like a freight train. the thing is, it feels good. it feels like i’m putting together some unified theory of the world and psyche and essentially every damn thing i’m talking about, like it All Makes Sense™. the desire to keep talking and theorising is fuelled by this sense that i’m making sense of things, and that if i keep doing so, i’ll have made sense of everything.
inflated self-esteem or grandiosity: my self-image is really good lately. this isn’t a bad thing in itself, but it contrasts to my baseline of “this is fine”. i feel much more associated with my body, much more accepting of it, and i’m much more willing to express the idea that i’m good or even excellent at certain tasks. similarly, i have less qualms with putting myself out there.
decreased need for sleep: this is pretty simple. lately i’ve not been tired, have had trouble falling asleep if i’ve gone to bed early (e.g. with you), and still not been tired in the morning when i wake up.
flight of ideas or the subjective experience that thoughts are racing: see ‘pressured speech’. it feels like everything is related.
easily distracted and attention-deficit: this one hasn’t hit me as much, subjectively, though i have struggled to accomplish much work-wise lately.
increase in psychomotor agitation, or occasionally in some, increased irritability: maybe.
hypersexuality: from ace to 8 hours of fucking in 48 hours. yeah.
involvement in pleasurable activities that may have a high potential for negative psycho-social or physical consequences: yes. there’s the whole 8 hours of sex with someone you just met thing, but i’m willing to excuse that as simply queer life sometimes. but we didn’t use any protection! hello disinhibition. :/
i need “elevated mood” plus three of those for the DSM-IV-TR definition. i have elevated mood plus six, so …