by (what feels to me) some huge coincidence, i find myself increasingly actually believing myself to be more “awake” or aware or something than nearly everyone around me — and not in a way that feels obviously generically megalomaniacal or whatever, but in specific, measurable ways. i’m 100% clear that i’m not delusional in the ways i’m finding myself having a by-the-numbers relatively extraordinary belief.
and that would be just the expected ~phenomenology~ of such a delusion, and this too has never failed to occur to me. it just is what it is, and ngl that’s kinda weird.
this post brought to you from subconscious-overthinking while thoroughly learning k8s in my own time, becoming accustomed to feeling mostly disappointment in work time, and a fair bit of meditation in between