Below is the email to my company and its sister company which summarised my recent findings with IBM. My email to IBM, 9:35am:
Hi there,
I recently submitted a request with ESC+, problem number 616P496RCS.
When I spoke to the IBM representative on the phone, I requested a change of address – he did this by closing the old ticket (now in status “CCC”) and opening a new one, with number P496CBC.
Unfortunately, the new ticket (P496CBC) is not shown in the “View my requests: Australia/New Zealand” view in ESC+, so I can’t track what’s happening with my laptop.
As it has been over a week, I’d like to know what’s happening. Thanks!
Cheers,
Arlen
At 9:43am, IBM’s reply graced my inbox.
Dear Arlen
Thank you for contacting AskIBM.For technical enquiries, warranty claims, Recovery CDs, repairs and local IBM Repairers in Australia please contact our service centre on 131 426 (61 7 5585 3144).
For technical and service enquiries in New Zealand, please contact 0800 733 222 (64 4 576 5555).
Should you have any further enquiries please do not hestitate to contact AskIBM.
Regards
Jane
AskIBM Administrator
IBM Australia
I replied at 9:50am:
Hi Jane,
Thanks for your reply! I do have further enquiries, as it happens.
Are you able to help me at all via email? I don’t particularly want to spend all day on the phone, which is why I went to the trouble of finding an email address where I could actually contact you guys.
Your response gives the impression you didn’t actually read what I wrote at all. (Case in point: I didn’t ask for phone numbers.)
Thanks again,
Arlen
At 10:32am, IBM struck back:
Dear Arlen
Thank you for contacting AskIBM.
For technical support and service please contact:
131 426 (61 7 5585 3144) if calling form Australia or
0800 733 222 (64 4 576 5555) if calling from New Zealand.
Regards
Jane
AskIBM Administrator
IBM Australia
With my dear friend Alex’s help (i.e. he composed the entire thing), we vetoed her attempts to palm us off at 10:42am:
Dear Jane,
Thanks for getting back to me, and for again ignoring the main thrust of my email.
I apologise for the tone of this email, however your latest response has left me feeling undervalued as a customer.
I cannot see where the issue would be in having a level of basic manners and responding with “I’m sorry, but we deal with our technical queries via phone, please contact etc etc” rather than ignoring my question and responding only with the contact details.
You will note that my response to you, whilst acknowledging your actions in the conversation, also contains my own questions. Note how from my point of view this could be considered an open dialogue, whereas your responses provide me with no added benefit beyond that which an auto-responder would provide.
Moreover, your responses contain typos which make it clear that I am being responded to by a human. This adds insult to injury, as it means not only are my responses reaching a person, but that person is taking deliberate steps to ignore my questions.
So please – if I must contact your phone support (which I dearly hope is better than your email support) just answer me clearly. Do *not* give me the phone number again – it is apparent that I already have it, as it’s the only thing of any value you have thus far given me. Tell me not only that I must contact phone support, but that my continued emailing will have no effect but to further frustrate me.
Regards,
Arlen
At 11:07am, IBM raised their white flag in a pitiful act of cowardice:
Dear Arlen
Thank you for contacting AskIBM.
I am unable to provide an email address.
Please phone our service centre.
Regards
Jane
AskIBM Administrator
IBM Australia
This is why we rock.
–
Arlen Cuss
Software Engineer
Noble Samurai